Watching Neflix's 13 Reasons Why: A Week After

I am really sorry if this sounds really long-winded but this is extremely relevant and should be read by all ages.

I have had Thirteen Reasons Why on my mind for past the few weeks again. I was a fan of the book Thirteen Reasons Why when I first read it in 2013 before it became popular because of the new Netflix show. I have even reread the book and done a research project for my Young Adult Literature class in my spring semester of 2016 before I even knew the television series was being created. I chose this book because it is very relevant to my life prior to college while also showing a very hard message that people try to ignore or avoid. Suicide is the second biggest cause in teenagers’ death. I bet a lot of you didn’t know that this book has been put on the challenged books list to be banned for reasons involving language, bullying, rape, drugs and alcohol, and suicide. It’s very understandable why a parent might not want their teenage son or daughter reading this book, but I feel that it is an injustice to their child and the teenagers in the community to have a book like this kept away from them. There is substance to it and it doesn’t fantasize the issues of suicide, rape, and bullying.

When I first read the book in 2013, I read it at a very pivotal point in my life when I needed it the most. It was the beginning of summer before my senior year of high school where I was already feeling angry, cheated, violated, and very lonely while dealing with issues that were unforeseen and unwelcome for the summer. Very few people seemed to care, and the few who did didn’t really understand and basically told me to persevere and deal with it. That’s the last thing you want to hear if you’re in this spot.

 I knew immediately as I was reading that I was the Hannah Baker at my high school. I know many of you reading this think I might be making this up or I am looking for attention, but the truth is there is a Hannah Baker in every high school and probably more than one if it’s a larger campus. I was an outcast and was popular for all the wrong reasons that came along with actions from others that weren’t asked or desired. I can easily make 13 people thirteen reasons why I hated my life while in high school and doubted why I am alive, but I won’t. While in high school, I actually tried to be invisible, but it never worked. I tried to avoid people and the bullying by spending my lunches alone in the library or in the confinement of the guidance office creating half the yearbook. I didn’t attempt to have a relationship with a guy because I couldn’t trust anyone and I was constantly sexually harassed almost to the point of being assaulted in a classroom. It probably would have gone farther if I didn’t have the fight response as soon as I sensed something was going to happen. Even after high school, I still have the emotional scars that are hard to get over even though it’s been a few years since I’ve been out of high school. So I understand how Hannah feels, she just wanted to be loved and treated with respect but no one wanted to step up and give her that.

After a week of finishing Thirteen Reasons Why, my heart has become heavy by the burden of the issue of suicide among others. It becomes even harder to watch after you lose someone you’re close to who committed suicide or even when you think it was almost a last resort. I felt that it would be an injustice as an English major and as someone who was the Hannah Baker in my high school not to write something about this important subject.

When I heard that the show was going to have Selena Gomez as a producer, I was unsure and I thought that she was going to end up being the actor who plays Hannah. After I find out that she wasn’t Hannah’s actor, I became more open to watching the show as a possibility. Soon after, I heard a lot of hype about the show months before I started to watch it and I thought it was time for me to watch it so I can be prepared for conversations. The show makes Hannah's suicide more about revenge rather than a way to escape to happiness like the book does, which I felt was not a good way to go about the series. You want the truth about what I think about this hype concerning the show? I feel somewhat disgusted by the reactions I have been hearing. People tell me that the show is great and addicting, but they only seem to see the entertainment aspect of it and not the seriousness of it. I feel that I cannot even have those conversations because people are immature and blind to the reality of it all.

Jay Asher wrote the book in order to raise awareness of the effects of suicide and reasons why a teenager uses suicide as an escape. Producers, such as Selena Gomez, wanted to do the same. There is even a short video about the reasoning behind some of the film’s decisions, which many of them were not easy.

When someone finally asked me how I felt about it after I watched almost the entire season, I was completely honest. I told them that it was a well-done piece of film production while showing the cruel world of high school, especially as an outcast, and the ugly reality of suicide among other issues. I felt uncomfortable even pushing play to start the first episode because I knew somewhat of what I was getting into. It made me feel worse than I expected. I’m not one who is squeamish or bothered by gory images and I actually like horror films, but there were points where I couldn’t watch. I know it’s not exactly the same. But at certain points, I had to force myself to watch because those scenes were extremely pivotal for the message to come across clearly and effectively.

In conclusion, I believe that this needs to be read before it is watched. It needs to be watched with little to no distractions with only one episode a day. Maybe bring a notepad to write things down that stuck out to you. Each episode needs to be reflected on both by itself and what your life is/was like in high school and everyday life. Are there things you regret doing or not doing? What could you have done to save that life or made someone feel loved?

There’s many Hannahs out there. I know it. I was a Hannah Baker in my school and I tried to reach out to help anyone I could. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m far from it and I know I could have also done better, but it wasn’t my mission to make others feel bad for (not) being a certain way. First, I plan to initiate and discuss these difficult conversations. I also plan to buy this book for my little sister in a few years the summer before high school, and I plan to give this book to my own children some day because if I can help save several more lives by a single gift than I’ll feel a little more at peace over the issue.